The Flawed Chapter 1
by Ms BB Sharp
Summary: PTSD poses difficult issues for John Rambo and Sarah Miller
1. Chapter 1

The Flawed

Characters: John Rambo/ Sarah Miller

Chapter 1

" Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an unfortunate side effect of all the things you have seen in battle, Mr. Rambo. _You are not insane_." The puce colored man was really starting to piss me off. He prescribed me 200 mg of Prozac to help with depression and night terrors. Every night they seem to get worse. Tonight was the worst in years.

I was tossing and turning. The smelly cigar smoking Vietcong general was standing over me again. This time he was brandishing my knife in front of my face. He set in the fire and slashed my face, chest and arms. I want to run and scream but I can't move.

I hear the faintest voice saying " John , John wake up."

But I am so scared that I grab my knife and jumped on top of her. "DON'T JOHN PLEASE!" Sarah screamed. Her eyes were pierced with terror and fear. I feel back down in disbelief. I couldn't believe that I almost killed my wife.

"John it is ok it was an accident." Sarah is so sweet but there isn't any excuse for what I just did to her.

"No it is not! Look at your arm!" A small cut dripped with crimson blood a result from this latest night terror."I told that it was an accident. It really was. I know you would never try to hurt me."

With her tiny hand she forces me back to bed ever so softly kissing my neck. " I love you John, but maybe you need to we need to see Dr. Agnew again it may help."

" I really don't want to see him again. He pisses me off and makes me feel like I'm fuckin insane."

"Baby you have to see him. It's not healthy to live like that. I am here for you. Please don't shut me out." Sarah pleaded with him. At this point John was so exhausted nothing Sarah said even registered.

" Good night Sarah. I love you"

" I love you too John."

Good night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"John I'm not doing this with you again. I'm through. I'm leaving." Sarah stormed out of the room.

" I hate these pills, they make me sleepy and sick! If you can't understand that then—

"Then what John, I can go to hell like everyone else. John I'm your wife! I want you to get better, these night terrors are not healthy. Flat out! Why can't you understand that?!"

"Forget it. I have to go to Ft. Bragg today. Will you be here when I come home today?" John didn't enjoy hurting Sarah but this was too painful for him to handle.

" Loving you is stupid because I know realize that you never really loved me and you never gave me the signs I needed to see!" Sarah was now screaming at the top of her lungs.

" Here are your dogtags. The last time you left I clung to them but know I can't have them anymore."

"Sarah please they belong to you. Please keep them. I do love you." At this point I was getting agitated. How could she not know that I loved her. Fuck sake I went into a war-torn hellhole to rescue her and almost got killed!

" No John I can't do this with you anymore, I will always love you. Goodbye."

It hit me all at once. The love of my life was about to leave me. It hit me like a meteor shower. " Please don't go Sarah.

"Goodbye John"

"NO! NO PLEASE DON'T GO! I LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING IN ME! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! At this point my knees buckled up under me. It was no way in hell that someone could live through this much pain, not even the "invincible John Rambo." I didn't care if everyone on the block heard him. All I wanted was my wife.

It was at this time Sarah crouched down by me holding me in her delicate arms which prompted more tears to fall from my eyes. Here was this beautiful sweet woman and I was hurting her. Even when I hurt her, she still loved me."

"Baby please forgive me. I'll go back to the doctor and take all of the pills in the world if necessary. Just don't leave."

"John I won't leave you. I love you. It ok baby. Stop crying." Her soothing voice helped me drift off into a blissful sleep. We moved back to our bed where we both fell asleep.

I know I'm not the perfect man. I am flawed. I am blistered by countless rendezvous's with death. Soiled by the blood of comrades and enemy alike but beyond the fact that I am a killer, Sarah still loved me. It is very possible that the flawed can be loved as well.

The End


End file.
